“I’d love to go home right now and just watch sleep and do nothing.”
“Yeah, I know how you feel. I want to do the same.”
Never would I ever thought I would disagree with this thought (did this sentence sound weird?). Do I disagree with the idea? I’m not so sure but that’s always been the ideal plan for me every weekend. Go home, stay up late playing video games, not worrying about homework (waiting for the last minute), eat, and sleep. That used to sound amazing to me, that’s all I would have done for my weekend; but now it’s kind of different. I started feeling this way in the beginning of 10th grade I suppose and it’s that whenever weekends comes around, I want to work. WOAH– WHAT THE FUDGE. Okay, not all the time but it’s starting to become more and more frequent.
What has got me to start feeling this way though. Am I just getting tired of the video games? Maybe. Or is it that I’m starting to feel the reality charging at me with a bayonet on a gun. I’m still trying to figure out why. I mean I feel that I’ve always living inside a bubble, that I have not seen any of the outside world at all. I don’t know what it’s like getting a job interview, working at a place and getting paid on the book. I barely even know what it’s like to go to an audition for acting, and I want to be an actor? Yeah sometimes I’ll blame it on my age that I’m not 16 yet but I don’t care if that’s reasonable or not I just get frustrated when stay home, not being productive and watch the time fly by. Man I want to work, and what’s even more stupid now I think about it is that I don’t even have the discipline to do it. I look back right now sometimes when I do work is only when I feel like it and knowing that hits me the most.
“You know, I knew hundreds of friends, they’re all astounding actors. They grew up trained professional, went to acting schools, based their life on acting, I know most of them didn’t make it.”
This quote is by my uncle, Nicolo Frank, who’s basically my grandpa. He’s a super nice guy. He was also an actor, a great one. According to my dad he said he used to be in all the commercials and TV shows all that stuff. I went over to his apartment in NYC the other day and I saw some of his footage back in the day, he was pretty good. But why didn’t he follow through it? If acting really was something he loves why didn’t he continue it? He is making a pretty good profit right now maybe that’s the reason but I still don’t get it. The quote that he always say to me every time, that doesn’t really scare me but seeing him is. I’m afraid that I’ll stop acting and doing something else and I’m scared that I’m going to be one of those guys who can’t make it into the acting industry. Yes… maybe I am scared of the quote. I totally went off topic, maybe not. Maybe that’s the reason why I want to be productive all the time, it is that so many others couldn’t make it to the dream we share which means I have to work extra extra hard and way more time on it than them. It’s exciting, I get to do all this and take on whatever comes at me. I love a challenge, I want to face it and I will somehow manage to find a way through it, however I can, I’ll always take that step. Would I ever think about trying some others things, who knows, but just let me do it.