Belong to where

Over these couple weeks in STAC, we did a good amount of Meisner technique for acting. Interestingly it helped some people to pay more attention to the subtext of general conversation. I’ve always paid attention those little feelings when people are talking because I think a lot, but I felt this exercise helped me more on connecting with the other person, or I hope it did. My last couple years of getting into acting I learned that being in the present is most important, that includes focusing on your partner on stage, find out your objectives, and let your mood affect how you speak your line, not the other way around. Although it sounds simple, but when on stage or on camera it feels really challenging. Since you can’t really think about it, or not thinking too much about because whenever I did I felt myself being forced to just repeat the lines that I memorized. I mean that’s got to look so fake on stage, just spitting the words out. Sometimes I find myself thinking “okay how am I going to feel” and I don’t necessarily know if it’s all bad. I’m sure that I’m not supposed to do that while acting because if I was really into the moment would I have to be thinking of that? I hate sometimes when the other person is talking I’d be thinking about how I’m going to respond to her line rather than listening to what she’s saying. I’m catching myself more and more now and I want to learn how to stay in the moment.

It’d be great if I could just watch myself perform. I find it much easier while physically watching someone else and look for things that could be improved on than when myself is doing it. I simply don’t know how I do, how bad or how good I am. Sometimes when my performances were recorded and I look back I completely think it’s trash, or that I could’ve done way better. Then this amusing idea I heard helped me a bit on not putting too much pressure or critique on my work. It goes, everyone has a base on their own work and they have a range of how good they can be. Everyone has a different base, some might be higher than others but we all have a base. It’s usually hard to go below the base and if it happens then somethings gotta change. Sometimes on your bad days, you’re still going to be on your base but the only place you can go is up. When you keep on going up sometimes you might fall down a little but you’re still going to be at your base, so don’t worry too much about it. As you go higher and higher you’re able to set new bases for yourself. This idea helps me embrace that so what if my work sucks, there’s always room for me to keep improving.

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