“Allow yourself to be bad; so that you can rise up and reach for better. Let yourself to be bad, so that you can know you’ll always have a best.” This quote was from a speech by a speaker from my brother’s college for graduation. My brother didn’t graduate from college, it was just a two year thing that I have no idea about. I think the speaker was important to the school? I’m not really sure. But I’m surprised on how much I listened to the speech, I mean I can barely remember anything. I think her name was Mia, not even sure. The only words that I can recall right now are “she became the first African American to be selected….” (or she is going to be? You know maybe they were saying the good things coming her way). I’m 99% sure I’m wrong about that but I do know that she spoke the lines at the very beginning. How do I remember those lines? Well that’s when she started talking something about her being the theater a little bit and that got me a bit interested. Then I think she said that’s what her teacher told her about theater and she used it on how we can use it in real life. I like this quote, and I mean duh, I can connect this to my life 100%. Over this past year I started to realize that I’m the kind of person who wants to do everything perfect, very good, spotless, and it’s true. I never really wanted to be bad at something, I’ve always wanted to start out with a great idea or be great at the things I’m doing. With the internet around these days I was able to look at a lot of great works that people did. Movies, songs, pictures, paintings, stories. When I looked, I looked for the best ones and ones that were remarkable. I guess that’s how I started to have this barrier of wanting to do better or have a better idea that those amazing works. I want to be better, I mean it’s not a bad thinking to have but it prevented me from starting. I’d think that the idea I had for this movie isn’t really great and I wanted to add more and I never do anything, that’s it I just think. That’s what I’ve been trying to work on this past year, being able to start.
This Friday, May 19, I had a STAC Trip to NYC. It was really, really fun (and tiring). I was in the acting workshop with James III and he is amazing. His energy and personalities were always keeping me interested and always giving me a part of his energy. In the workshop we were doing improv acting. I love improv more than anything. I loved all the activities we did but sometimes I found myself to be lost. It was improv so we had to come up with ideas on the spot but I found myself to be searching for an idea for too long. Maybe I thought it wasn’t good enough, that it was stupid, that people wouldn’t laugh at that, that I’d just embarrass myself infront of others. Ultimately I’d miss a chance to go up and do the improv that I love. I tried avoiding that as I caught myself. Going back to the quote saying that let yourself be bad so you can always improve. I found that very true. For this one improv scene I did, I had this idea that I wasn’t really sure about, I mean it was an idea so I went up front and I wanted to see where it’d end up. I didn’t care if it made sense of not I just kept on doing it, then my partner Mr.Baire came in the scene. He’s a great actor, he was so good I love him. When he came in things started going in a path, a good feeling one. As it kept going, I wasn’t sure where it’d end out but when we got to the climate point Mr. Baire came out with this killer line, it was hilarious. Don’t think I can say whatever he said but it was freakin amazing. It broke my character and made me fall on the ground laughing, and all I could hear was all my classmates laughter. I didn’t even know the scene was going to be funny. Over this weekend I’m sure did experience more of something that I’m going after.